Choosing Love or Fear
I always feel a bit funny talking to people about this topic, I know that if someone were to have tried to tell me this four years ago, I would have rolled my eyes and spaced out. Like ok whatever, yet another “self-help” lecture. But truthfully I think back then I would have known the truth, I just wasn’t at the point where I would face it.
So for anyone out there who wants to roll your eyes at the topic of fear vs. love, please do so, but please listen. You never know if listening might help you today, or maybe just having this concept in the back of your mind could help you in 6 months or perhaps even a year from now?
Fear Vs. Love
It does seem true that just about all human action can be broken down into two primary motivations...fear or love.
example of fear running a scenario:
A patient gets mad at as doc for not prescribing an antibiotic.
Patient mad because they are afraid of the unknown, afraid of what will happen if they can’t get get better now. Afraid I might be wrong. Afraid of feeling tired and terrible for an unknown amount of days. Fearful of being sick when they could have been well.
The doc gets mad at a patient for telling me I’m not helping them because I did not give them an antibiotic. The doc’s mad as it takes more time to educate the person why they should not have an antibiotic vs. time it would have taken to prescribe it (examples of underlying fear: fear of running behind, fear of the next patient getting mad they had to wait longer, fear not finishing work on time to go pick up gets….all this fear turns into anger.
Example of love running the scenario
The patient now with love: listened to the doc’s explanation of why they don’t need an antibiotic. This time patient heard, they weren’t sitting there anxious and fearful. Understands now a cold is common, and that while medicine does ask the patient to be miserable, the misery will end. About everyone will go through this too. We hold off on antibiotics to both protect and love our future selves, but for our kids future.
The doc with love now: remembers the patient feels terrible, is sleep deprived. The patient does not know the information you have; it is too hard to relay that information promptly. But all we can do is try.
Now let’s flip this into a food scenario
“Ugh, I don’t want to eat a salad. Salads are so boring, not another one.” Superficially the feeling of dread, but deeper a fear of losing out on an opportunity to feel the “enjoyment” of a meal.
Now looking at a salad with love, “this salad is going to get me what I want. It may not give my brain that surge of good feeling hormones, but it will give the rest of my body a surge of nutritious vitamins, minerals, and fiber." But not only that I will feel proud I ate this! It was not easy to turn down that other meal, but I did it.
But that's enough from me, here is a WONDERFUL podcast. I do not know this women. I officially have decided there are soooo many podcast out there with great info. I don't think you really need me to make one. But I am hoping to help by weeding out good ones for you!!
This one is great!!! I love too she remind you you have to practice picking love. This will be a muscle to exercise. You can't just undo likely YEARS of choosing fear.